I've decided to make a big announcement.
Ever since I was a little kid, I'm really like oreo cookies. Couldn't get enough of them. I would sit down and eat a whole poud of them, get sick, and then want to do it again the next day. As far as I was concerned, there was not a more delicious food in existence.
All that has changed recently though, I've decided that I like Vienna Fingers better. They taste even better, and eating a bag of them doesn't even make my tummy hurt. I just thought that everybody should know my feelings on this subject.
In other news, I just warmed up a microwave burrito, and, when I got back to my desk, I realized that I used two paper plates instead of just one. I feel kind of bad for that because I'm harming the environment with my trash twice as much as necessary.
(Oh, and I'm going to be a daddy again.)
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Why I'm Thankful
Today is Thanksgiving which means that there are probably a hundred people blogging today about what they are thankful for. To them I say, me too! me too! What makes you other bloggers better than me anyway?
Actually, since most of them have more than 3 readers, they would probably have a good response to that. Still, I can hold my head up high knowing that I could have a few hundred readers if I really wanted. Indeed, I did have a few hundred readers before I abruptly left myspace and came here. Hmmmm, it seems like I'm off on a tangent at this point. I digress...
I should probably mention at this point that I have had a few beers and very little sleep, so my thoughts are a bit more random. Attention span has not been my friend.
So what was I talking about anyway? Oh, yeah, things I am thankful for.
1. Family
Family is what people are supposed to say here, so I'm certainly not going to be the only schmuck who forgets to mention mine. Plus, its holidays like Thanksgiving that remind us of just how lovable our families can be.
My family has discovered a new game today. We have a gaggle of sugared up kids running around the house, and each of us has taken the position that the kids are somebody else's problem. I think I've said the phrase, "Go see your grandfather downstairs, I think he has candy." at least five times today. It's still working, but not as well as it did at first. I can tell that the kids are suspicious, but they aren't yet willing to take the risk of not going just in case it turns out to be true this one time.
2. Shnoogs
I know that she technically falls under the category of family, but my wife deserves special mention since there is a chance that she might read this. Plus, she’s wonderful. Without a doubt, she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m extremely thankful to God for putting her in my life. Plus she’s really hot and she doesn’t even know it. I don’t just mean hot like the cute cashier at your grocery store. This chick is smoking hot. It makes me ache.
3. Friends
I haven’t talked to a single on of my friends today. In fact, I haven’t talked to any of them in a few weeks. This is the first time I’ve been online this week. This isn’t abnormal behavior for me. I’m just grateful that they still talk to me whenever I feel like dragging myself out of my hermit hole.
4. Beer
I’m grateful for beer. A little too grateful I think. Quite frankly, I haven’t been grateful for beer in a few months, and I had forgotten how much I enjoyed the taste of a good brew.
Ask me tomorrow if I still feel the same way though.
5. God
This one should be first and foremost. I know that without God, the other things wouldn’t even be possible. He’s our provider, protector, and Father. He loves us unconditionally in a way that no person ever could. For that love, I am thankful.
6. Asian People
Specifically, I’m thankful for the Chinese for inventing Kung Fu which eventually turned into Karate after the Japanese adapted it. Also the Japanese for invading Korea and influencing the traditional Korean martial arts systems which eventually culminated in modern day Ho Am Tae Kwon Do. It’s rapidly become my favorite martial art to study.
I’m sure that the Japanese probably made the Korean’s life a living hell during the occupation, but their pain sure makes my Wednesday afternoons a lot more fun.
7. Jamaican People
This one deserves a double thank you. First, for the Shnoogs, who happens to be both Jamaican and an awesome lover. Second, and more importantly, I’d like to thank the Jamaican people for oxtail. I could eat my weight in that stuff.
8. Häagen-Dazs and Baileys
Finally, I’d like to thank the fine folks at Häagen-Dazs and Baileys for teaming up and bringing us the best tasting junk food ever created. This may be the only thing on the planet that rivals a yummy plate of oxtail.
Actually, since most of them have more than 3 readers, they would probably have a good response to that. Still, I can hold my head up high knowing that I could have a few hundred readers if I really wanted. Indeed, I did have a few hundred readers before I abruptly left myspace and came here. Hmmmm, it seems like I'm off on a tangent at this point. I digress...
I should probably mention at this point that I have had a few beers and very little sleep, so my thoughts are a bit more random. Attention span has not been my friend.
So what was I talking about anyway? Oh, yeah, things I am thankful for.
1. Family
Family is what people are supposed to say here, so I'm certainly not going to be the only schmuck who forgets to mention mine. Plus, its holidays like Thanksgiving that remind us of just how lovable our families can be.
My family has discovered a new game today. We have a gaggle of sugared up kids running around the house, and each of us has taken the position that the kids are somebody else's problem. I think I've said the phrase, "Go see your grandfather downstairs, I think he has candy." at least five times today. It's still working, but not as well as it did at first. I can tell that the kids are suspicious, but they aren't yet willing to take the risk of not going just in case it turns out to be true this one time.
2. Shnoogs
I know that she technically falls under the category of family, but my wife deserves special mention since there is a chance that she might read this. Plus, she’s wonderful. Without a doubt, she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m extremely thankful to God for putting her in my life. Plus she’s really hot and she doesn’t even know it. I don’t just mean hot like the cute cashier at your grocery store. This chick is smoking hot. It makes me ache.
3. Friends
I haven’t talked to a single on of my friends today. In fact, I haven’t talked to any of them in a few weeks. This is the first time I’ve been online this week. This isn’t abnormal behavior for me. I’m just grateful that they still talk to me whenever I feel like dragging myself out of my hermit hole.
4. Beer
I’m grateful for beer. A little too grateful I think. Quite frankly, I haven’t been grateful for beer in a few months, and I had forgotten how much I enjoyed the taste of a good brew.
Ask me tomorrow if I still feel the same way though.
5. God
This one should be first and foremost. I know that without God, the other things wouldn’t even be possible. He’s our provider, protector, and Father. He loves us unconditionally in a way that no person ever could. For that love, I am thankful.
6. Asian People
Specifically, I’m thankful for the Chinese for inventing Kung Fu which eventually turned into Karate after the Japanese adapted it. Also the Japanese for invading Korea and influencing the traditional Korean martial arts systems which eventually culminated in modern day Ho Am Tae Kwon Do. It’s rapidly become my favorite martial art to study.
I’m sure that the Japanese probably made the Korean’s life a living hell during the occupation, but their pain sure makes my Wednesday afternoons a lot more fun.
7. Jamaican People
This one deserves a double thank you. First, for the Shnoogs, who happens to be both Jamaican and an awesome lover. Second, and more importantly, I’d like to thank the Jamaican people for oxtail. I could eat my weight in that stuff.
8. Häagen-Dazs and Baileys
Finally, I’d like to thank the fine folks at Häagen-Dazs and Baileys for teaming up and bringing us the best tasting junk food ever created. This may be the only thing on the planet that rivals a yummy plate of oxtail.
Friday, November 10, 2006
My Morning
My morning routine as of late is pretty standard. I wake up at the last possible moment, take a shower, get the kids dressed, rush out the door, drop Meatball off at school, (Shnoogs takes Munchkin), and go to work.
So this morning, I woke up about ten minutes late. As a result, Meatball had to eat his breakfast in the car on the way to school. Fortunately, we are well stocked with convenient food for just such an occasion, so while I dressed the kids, Shnoogs heated up breakfast.
We make a good team.
She filled a plastic container with some strips of French toast and a little container of syrup and sent us on our way. I proceeded to drive to school while Meatball ate. Life was good.
He managed to finish his breakfast just as we arrived. I checked him in, got back in my car, turned on some loud music, and off I went. This was just one of those mornings where things were clicking perfectly. There was little traffic and the sunrise was shaping up to be beautiful.
At some point during the drive, I decided that I'd like to call Shnoogs and see how her morning was progressing.
I'm a safe driver. While I do have a cell phone, I was conscientious enough to get one of those hands-free earbud things so that I could talk and play with the radio while still keeping a hand on the wheel.
I pulled the ear bud from the center console only to discover that the wire was all tangled up. Managing to get the end of the wire with the ear bud itself untangled fairly quickly, I tossed that end towards the passenger seat to straighten the wire out while I worked on the side that plugs into the phone.
I was able to untangle this side quickly as well, so without fanfare, I plugged it into the phone and grabbed the other end, shoving it into my ear.
That's when I realized that the ear bud must have landed in the syrup container when I tossed it aside.
There's nothing like a good earful of maple syrup to wake you up in the morning.
So this morning, I woke up about ten minutes late. As a result, Meatball had to eat his breakfast in the car on the way to school. Fortunately, we are well stocked with convenient food for just such an occasion, so while I dressed the kids, Shnoogs heated up breakfast.
We make a good team.
She filled a plastic container with some strips of French toast and a little container of syrup and sent us on our way. I proceeded to drive to school while Meatball ate. Life was good.
He managed to finish his breakfast just as we arrived. I checked him in, got back in my car, turned on some loud music, and off I went. This was just one of those mornings where things were clicking perfectly. There was little traffic and the sunrise was shaping up to be beautiful.
At some point during the drive, I decided that I'd like to call Shnoogs and see how her morning was progressing.
I'm a safe driver. While I do have a cell phone, I was conscientious enough to get one of those hands-free earbud things so that I could talk and play with the radio while still keeping a hand on the wheel.
I pulled the ear bud from the center console only to discover that the wire was all tangled up. Managing to get the end of the wire with the ear bud itself untangled fairly quickly, I tossed that end towards the passenger seat to straighten the wire out while I worked on the side that plugs into the phone.
I was able to untangle this side quickly as well, so without fanfare, I plugged it into the phone and grabbed the other end, shoving it into my ear.
That's when I realized that the ear bud must have landed in the syrup container when I tossed it aside.
There's nothing like a good earful of maple syrup to wake you up in the morning.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Random Bits
Out of the mouths of babes
Yesterday, Munchkin had a homework assignment where he was supposed to scramble his spelling words, and then give them to somebody else to unscramble. So he sits down at the table and goes about writing down each word with the letters scrambled, and, when he finishes, he looks at his mom and says "I'm going to give this to Daddy to figure out because you're too smart and you will figure it out too quickly"
Gee, thanks son.
-------------------------------------------
Last night, Angel and I were just finishing tucking the kids in when she announced that she'd be right back because she had to pee. As soon as she left, Meatball (the 4 year old) looked at me very seriously and said "does mommy have a penis now?"
I gave him a hug and explained that, while girls are sans penis, they do have a hole to pee out of. It just doesn't stick out like a boy's does.
He thought about this for a few seconds and asked "does she pee out of her tush and pretend like she's pooping?"
I'm going to miss his innocence in the years to come.
-------------------------------------------
Personal hygiene
I know a few people who think it's sick to shave the pubic area. "What are you, some kind of pedophile? You must secretly want to have sex with 12 year old girls." they will say. Oddly though, they see nothing inappropriate about shaving their legs and armpits.
-------------------------------------------
Parenting
There was a diaper commercial on TV last night that included this line: "It stops leaks and at a lower cost than other, more expensive brands." Wow! Ya think?
-------------------------------------------
Being a parent is so much easier now than it was a generation ago. These days, all parents have to do is whatever their kids tell them to do.
Yesterday, Munchkin had a homework assignment where he was supposed to scramble his spelling words, and then give them to somebody else to unscramble. So he sits down at the table and goes about writing down each word with the letters scrambled, and, when he finishes, he looks at his mom and says "I'm going to give this to Daddy to figure out because you're too smart and you will figure it out too quickly"
Gee, thanks son.
-------------------------------------------
Last night, Angel and I were just finishing tucking the kids in when she announced that she'd be right back because she had to pee. As soon as she left, Meatball (the 4 year old) looked at me very seriously and said "does mommy have a penis now?"
I gave him a hug and explained that, while girls are sans penis, they do have a hole to pee out of. It just doesn't stick out like a boy's does.
He thought about this for a few seconds and asked "does she pee out of her tush and pretend like she's pooping?"
I'm going to miss his innocence in the years to come.
-------------------------------------------
Personal hygiene
I know a few people who think it's sick to shave the pubic area. "What are you, some kind of pedophile? You must secretly want to have sex with 12 year old girls." they will say. Oddly though, they see nothing inappropriate about shaving their legs and armpits.
-------------------------------------------
Parenting
There was a diaper commercial on TV last night that included this line: "It stops leaks and at a lower cost than other, more expensive brands." Wow! Ya think?
-------------------------------------------
Being a parent is so much easier now than it was a generation ago. These days, all parents have to do is whatever their kids tell them to do.
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