The Thousand Years of Pain technique

I was feeling all inspired to write something today, but then a friend of mine sent me this Wikipedia article. It's way more interesting than my normal rambling so I decided to post it instead.

Wikipedia Entry

Kancho

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Kancho (?????, kancho?) is a game or trick often played in Japan by young school-aged children; it is performed by clasping the hands together so the index fingers are pointing out and attempting to insert them into someone's anal region when the victim is not looking. It is similar in spirit to the wedgie or a goosing in North America.
It has been popular in Japan for years but has recently become popularised in other countries by the anime Naruto, where it has been called the Thousand Years of Pain/Death technique. It is also known in South Korea as "ttong chim", "ddong chim" or "dong chim" (?? in Hangul) and in the Philippines as "tumbong", the Filipino word for rectum. In Japan, there is a gameshow where a celebrity routinely kanchos random people.

In certain countries, the act of kancho may be illegal and considered sexual harassment, or even sexual assault, although children are given more leniency. In the USA a child at school performing the act would probably receive counselling, detention, suspension, and/or a parent-teacher conference; for an adult the act would likely result in an arrest. While the practice is known in South Korea, there have been cases where adults performing it have been arrested. However, in Japan it is considered a childish prank rather than a criminal act.

The word is sometimes used by English speakers in Japan who have some knowledge of Japanese language in a prank as a light form of hazing aimed at people who have recently come to Japan. When asking for the bill at a resturant in Japan (one way of asking for the bill in Japanese is "kanjo kudasai" or "Please give me the bill") the victim is told to say, "Kancho kudasai!" or "Please give me a kancho!" which usually results in hysterical laughter by the waiter.

Kancho is also the name of a brand of chocolate-filled biscuits produced by Lotte Confectionaries.
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Etymology

The word is a slang adoption of the Japanese word for an enema (??, kancho?). In accordance with widespread practice, the word is generally written in katakana when used in its slang sense, and in kanji when used of enemas in the medical sense.

To me, the most wonderful aspect of this is the game show angle. How awesome must a culture be to have a game show that features two handed anal attacks? It's mind boggling. Between this and the video game Boong-Ga Boong-Ga (here and here) it's looking like digital-rectal probing makes up a large portion of the entertainment interests in Japan and Korea.

Pretty soon, I'm going to have the option of creating my own Hyung (i.e. Kata/Form/Pattern) for Tae Kwon Do. I wonder if there's a way to integrate the devestating "Thousand Years of Pain technique" into that form. Nah, it would never work of course. It would be much better to have the element of surprise.

I'll have to use it during a sparring match instead.

I have to wonder what it would take to get these sorts of gameshows in the U.S. Maybe something with a similar format to Candid Camera or Punk'd. There could even be crossover potential. For example, a well timed kancho would be a huge rating booster during the season finale of American Idol.

I urge anybody who reads this to write to their local television stations begging for a kancho related television show. Since I'm pretty sure I only have one reader, I'll need that reader to write hundreds of times using different colored pens and different names on each letter. It would probably help to drive around and mail them from different zip codes too.

Thank you for your support.