Dream Interpreter Wanted: Apply Within

This is the dream I had on Saturday night...

It started out normally enough. Shnoogs, Big Boy, Muncheechee Rodriguez, and I drove to my parents' house to stay for the weekend.

note: The version of my parents' house that always appears in my dream is a little odd. It's located on the same lot as their house, but it's haunted. It's three stories tall, sometimes four, and each floor is increasingly more evil. The second floor, for example, might have scary apparitions showing up, or poltergeist type activities, while the top floor typically has me being attacked by demons while practicing amazing bladder control. (Not movie demons either, the truly scary kinds that can only appear in dreams.)

Anyway, so we get to the house, and nobody is home. It's a beautiful day, the sun is shining, it's 75 degrees, and there's cold beer in the fridge.

So I grab a beer and go sit outside on the porch. From this point one, I don't know what happens to everybody else. I'm all alone. I'm sitting outside watching the birds fly around. Only the birds start getting increasingly scary. The sparrows are steadily being replaced by ravens. Also, the nice white puffy clouds are becoming dark storm clouds. I also notice it's getting colder.

Even though there's no wind, the house starts to make those creaking noises that old houses occasionally make. They're barely audible at first, but they are becoming increasingly louder.

Now, even though I'm dreaming, some part of me starts to become aware of what's going to happen next. (I've dreamed about this house before after all. In fact, all of my scary dreams for years now have taken place either in this house, or at my own.)

Since I know what's going to happen, I'm starting to become nervous. I'm also trying very hard not to look up. I know that the upper floors of the house are going to be scary looking, and, quite frankly, I don't want to get involved.

So I go back inside.

Only, the inside has changed now. It's darker, and the living room has suddenly become a two story room. I never had a chance really. The house itself changed, practically forcing me to look up towards the darker second story.

So I quickly looked away, trying to avert my eyes, and I end up looking into a mirror on the wall next to me. That's when I see her, Samara Morgan, the demon child from The Ring.

She reaches out for me, but I run away. (Fortunately, I'm not stuck in one of those nightmares where my feet won't work.)

I run into the kitchen, where, curiously, the sink is filling with water. I go to turn it off, and Samara reaches for me from the reflection in the water.

So I run away again, and end up going...upstairs. *gulp* She reaches for me again from the mirror in the hallway, then again from the reflection in a window. I'm running up an impossibly high staircase, and she keeps taking jabs at me from any reflective surface. I'm dodging the normal ghosts and monsters that dwell in this house, paying them little mind really, in an effort to escape Samara. Finally, I make it to the roof.

There's nowhere for me to run, but, there aren't any reflective surfaces around either. I'm safe, I think. Still, she could crawl out of a mirror and come after me, so I better keep moving.

I jump off the roof into a trees branches and start crawling down. I dare to look at the house, and I can see her, glaring at me, from the reflection in a window. I get to the driveway, and run to my car. There she is, crawling out of the windshield. Crap!

So I take off running down the street. I don't know if she's following me, and I don't care. I keep running until I get to the IGA. There's people in there, maybe I'll be safe.

So I go inside, and everything seems ok for a second. Beach people are just milling about and buying groceries. Nobody seems tense or nervous. I glance into my reflection in the ice cream cooler window. No demon child.

All of a sudden, I really really have to take a dump. (I don't know. It's a dream for Pete's sake) So I find a bathroom and ... quick check in the mirror ... safe ... walk into the stall to do my business.

When all of a sudden, Samara kancho's me. I kid you not. I feel actual penetration. I jump up, and there she is, reaching out of the reflection of the toilet water, fingers together, and giving this scary demonic laugh. She starts climbing out of the toilet, and I can't get away. The door to the stall is closed, my pants are around my ankles.

...and that's when I woke up.

Now if anybody is reading, I have to ask this question. What in the hell was that?

I wonder what Sigmund Freud would say about a dream where I get chased, and then anally probed, by an 8 year old demon child.

Sheesh